Get good first
What do you do?
I despise that question. I never know what to answer. My mind goes to overdrive searching through acceptable answers.
I start sweating.
All the while hoping I wasn’t there. All the while hoping I would be doing the work.
Writing, editing, creating. Not selling, not persuading, not marketing.
Seeking no approval, no rating, no opinion. Just making.
I used to judge the stereotypical young artist. The one free to think her own way about the world. The one not afraid to be different. The one not afraid to try things not allowed.
The one searching.
Even if they weren’t free, even if they played a mask. They went out and did something out of the ordinary. They stood up.
I resented them. I used to be like that. We all did.
Artists are childlike.
I grew up and learned to fear uncertainty. I learned to crave stability, to follow. I thought I would get taken care of. If I learn one thing and do it well. Not too well. Just well.
You can call that the safe path. Become good at one thing and get paid for it. Follow the rules, keep your head down.
And yes, I am searching. Because who isn’t.
How am I going to make a living out of it? I’ll figure it out.
I want to get good first.